Ramana Maharshi used the analogy of a spider to explain how the mind creates the perceived world. "Similar to a spider spinning a web from within itself and withdrawing it back, the mind projects the world out of its own essence and absorbs it back, illustrating that the world is an insubstantial, internal projection of the mind."

In my experience this is true. When the frequency rises, this world as we know ceases to exist - completely. Everything, every person, every circumstances, relations - nothing exists in that moment. It happens so quickly and it feels like a dream that never existed. Should there be a slight tinge of sadness for this? Should there be some lamenting for those people and those relations? 

Is this comparable to death? When the next spawning happens, it is in a new stage with new characters and new circumstances. I now understand why people can feel sadness for the world that is being left behind. All these days, I was viewing it from one angle but flipping it from this side, it does look a bit sad. 

THIS sadness. 

Moving up the frequencies and leveling up to a different plane - how is it different or similar to death? Claude says they are more similar than different but death happens to you; while one walks into samadhi consciously. In genuine spiritual traditions, that higher frequency which is experienced, is brought to the current plane. That answers something for me. But this post has a lot to chew. 

CHEW.

List of Temples

October 2024

• Neem Karoli Baba Ashram and Hanuman Temple, Taos, New Mexico

Dec 2024

• Bhadrakali temple, Kurukshetra
• Vrindavan 
• Banke Bihari
• Prem mandir
• ISKON
• Sri Hit Radha Keli Kunj
• Gokul
• Nand Bhavan
• Mathura 
• Sri Krishnajanam Bhumi Complex
• Barsana
• Radha Rani Temple
• Govardhan Parikrama
• Laguna Beach Kali temple, California
• Laguna Beach ISKON temple, California 

May 2025

• Laguna Beach Kali temple, California

July 2025

• Hawaii
• Hanuman Maui
• Ayodhya
• Sri Ramjanambhumi Complex
• Hanuman Garhi temple
• Kanak Bhawan
• Saryu River
• Banaras
• Kashi Vishwanath temple 
• New Kashi Vishwanath temple, BHU
• Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple
• Ma Bhadrakali temple, Itkhori, Chatra

November 2025

• Sri Kurumba Bhagavathi temple 
• Thiruvanchikulam Mahadeva temple 

I had written this blog post some time back - http://bluejays-mockingbirds.blogspot.com/2023/10/why-do-we-have-to-remember.html

I got the answer today - it was in plain sight. It was confirmed by P - I had also thought of it but did not think more on it. 

The desire to play with the toy that was created - our own desire - started the game. The first game could have been so interesting that it led to attachments and recurring desires to play. This was the reason! 

That is why we have to remember! The play is just a play - it’s not “life” or original state.  

Being and Becoming

Being = Shiva 

Becoming = Shakti 

Both coexist and both should be balanced. Both go hand in hand as we observe. We change as we observe but what is observed is the current state. 

24th March

Bhavābdhāvapāre mahāduḥkhabhīru
Papāta prakāmī pralobhī pramattaḥ|
Kusam'sārapāśaprabaddhaḥ sadāham'
Gatistvam' gatistvam' tvamekā bhavāni

Ram

Absolutely stunning - Ram

Nothing new but probably understood a little better? 

Relate

सबकी ममता त्याग बटोरी .. this came up a couple of days after I had realized it on my own. I was able to relate to this statement and hence the author and eventually ended up buying the book. 

A girl who is a little elder but so much wiser, I want her to be my friend. If she is there, I do not need anything else - I can provide instead. 

Why do we have to remember

I had written this some time back - Level Up

We have to remember for the sake of remembrance. Not to achieve anything. Not to meet anybody. Not to get anything at the end. Because there is nothing to get anyways. 

We have to remember because that is who we are. 

We do not want to forget ourselves. 

Everything is a path or process to remember. Whatever it takes, we must remember. 

I am more curious about how did we forget in the first place. What caused the memory loss? Was it Ms. M whose job anyways is to make us forget? Who created M - did we create it and lost control over it? The path to memory loss is easy, the path to remembrance is an uphill battle. 

Today when P said, it should be done for itself - for the sake of itself - it reminded me about this thought that had come to me about remembering. 

Pain

1. Trust the process

2. It is by design - imagine a conveyer belt

3. Sit through the process and pain - moving will disrupt the process and pain will shift elsewhere. It may look that the pain has been relived but it will settle elsewhere and the whole process will start again. It’s painful every way.

4. The pain will becoming soothing after a bit - it’s a sinusoidal wave - it does become better if we have the patience to follow the process by all design principles.

5. Pain is a teacher. 

6. Pain helps to focus and get attention.

7. Pain is more helpful overall.

8. It diminishes ego. 

9. In the absence of ego the true process can start. 

10. The process is designed to move from gross to subtle sensations.

11. We want the subtle sensations since they are at higher frequencies.

12. Higher frequencies tend to zero. 

13. At some point the bliss starts taking over such that the sensations don’t matter as much and hence right action can be performed. 

14. The bliss keeps you preoccupied and is a happy state of its own - only because it’s like a high and the mind can come up with out of the box ideas. 

15. Shifting the focus changes the state of being. 

16. We become all powerful and come closer to the essence 

Silent in the moment

The intention needs to be set up, whenever we have to get into a cosmic dance with another. Any activity requires it. During the entire interaction, the others show who they are and if both are flowing in the moment, every movement is responded to as required. If we are not in the moment, we fail to notice the specific need and we straight get to the last step or anticipated need making the process not as pleasurable. Silence helps to listen and focus on what is needed in the moment.  

When I speak up or think ahead, I interfere with the dance, I break the character. I get pulled out of the moment and appear as a cartoon character who is just parroting what should be said as per the set up. By doing this we get distracted more and we break the process further. The cosmic dance does not require us to know the next step but flowing and playing with it, we create a pleasant and just needed experience which is lacking nothing. Interestingly it is always what is wanted by the system and everyone benefits with this. When the participants are not in the moment, everyone is distracted and it further distracts everyone and the cosmic play starts to lose the fun - hence we all need to be silent. The mirroring happens during silence and the responses are better - even if the other person is caught by surprise. 

Once we are in the moment, with our silence we can hear better, participate better and respond exactly to the need. It is by going with the flow, is that I know what is needed next - not by thinking about it. And this is extended to everyone we interact with implying that intention needs to be set all over. Its all about knowing and reading the other person better so that they can know you better. Honesty is needed so we can respond to what is needed; otherwise we respond to something that's not the truth and hence spoil the process further. 

How are we so programmed? Did we do this as a shortcut?

Fear that not; be not awed

“Fear it not. Be not terrified. Be not awed. Know it to be the embodiment of thine own intellect. As it is thine own tutelary deity, be not terrified.”

It is karmic personification of your own disposition.You know them so meet them as old acquaintances.

Senses

This world contains filth, sadness, pain and exploitation as much as it contains the opposites. We crave the opposites but hate the filth. We cannot stand the brutalities and those facts / stories haunt us. We try to forget and behave as if those things do not exist. But they do. It is after all the other side of the coin. Its the absence of something that makes something else so valuable. Hence has to be treated with equanimity because it is as precious or not. 

Also, it is a mind game. We are all diseased and plagued by our minds - so we get what we think we deserve at the moment. If we cannot imagine or believe something better, we won't be able to overcome what is. But for that first, we need to know what even is the current state. Are we even able to objectively see our current states? Does that not get colored by our conditioning? So what is real then? Is it what we feel or is it what we think that we are feeling?

The world is experienced through 5 senses - sight, smell, taste, hearing and feeling - that is real. Not what the conditioning explains those senses are sensing. Can we differentiate? I am sitting on the couch and that is real. Everything else about that state will be a story that I will tell myself or others.  

Nike :D

In one of the sessions, I had asked my friend to note down "we need to do it so that we can remember". Interestingly, in that moment, I knew "what had to be remembered". It was super clear like I was feeling "what that was". 

Yesterday I tried explaining that again. It is the source, the starting point, the purity, the bliss - the point from where everything just went south and has been unable to recover. It's like the algorithm went rouge and never recovered. It learnt and learnt and was totally unable to remember what it was before it learnt anything. That point is bliss. We see glimpses of it but we are unable to sustain or maintain that state. It is in order to remember and be in that moment, that we need to do it. 

Just do it. 

For me..

4/22 - another episode that made me extremely grateful. The universe knows what’s it’s doing. It is I who should not even question that. Everything that is happening is for me. If that force is taking care of me with so much love; I should not be worried at all. It is all for me; it is all for me. 

Aim

 This whole thing is a purification process. The aim is to learn gratitude and self-less service. 

Grateful

Without a suitable friend, this journey can be so long and straining. This friend can listen and ideate; convey and explain; relate and retaliate - overall the experience then becomes of going through something together. So it’s bearable, the journey and it feels worthwhile. Even though it may all be meaningless, it’s meaningful in those moment. For this, I am grateful.

Perfect

When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky. 

— Siddharth Gautam

New Year, New Post!

Past two months have been this crazy or what! No updates here since Nov... :)

I recovered from the Holiday mood just this past weekend probably. Was able to get into the normal rhythm of things. First hike of the year was long pending. Hoping to be more regular there. 

I love walking aimless in cities, towns and in nature. It's my personal meditation. All I need is a light backpack with essentials, my phone, extra batteries and good walking shoes. I love it! 

My happy place :D

             

Puzzle

When I finally recognized the importance of a connection, all I can say is that things fell in their place. Everything. Sometimes to view something clearly, we need to pan out - to see the whole picture - why did something happen the way it happened. It's as if a jigsaw puzzle started making sense. You see, it seems chaotic, when the puzzle pieces are handed to you one by one but once it creates some sort of pattern upon slow, painful connections - it suddenly fits and makes sense. You know it is a particular pattern. You do not have the full picture yet, but you have a sense of where this is going. That sense itself is calming because it implies there is a direction and hence a meaningful end. It's not all wasted, it's not all inexplaniable - it means something. To a seemingly directionless soul, this means a lot. 

You see, the soul is not lost - it never was. 

Like a friend told to me - "To be stuck in the Phantom zone only to realize that one was Superman" all this while! 

In Love

"If your soul is not ready to surrender to another soul, don't tell anyone you're in love."

- Shams Tabrez