Cycling

When we learn to cycle, the first thing we realize that how hard it is to balance. So we wobble, a little to the left and a little to the right.

In order to practice detached-attachment, we have to let go and let in, over and over again so that we can understand what is the right distance that should be maintained. It is difficult to be in it and observe it but if we can observe it, we can work on it. Every sign of anguish is a sign of frustration actually - just like a child who is learning to walk. You know it, yet you cannot do it. 

People and Relationships

People, just like things, can be a distraction. Or they can be used as tools to know and grow. Their presence and absence both can teach us something about ourselves. Do we crave someone's company because we like them? Or perhaps they give us a purpose? Do we have a common agenda? Does their presence create a structure that we think defines our being or life? Keeping a person in mind, if we can define why we need that person, we will know something about ourselves, not them - but about ourselves. 

Why should we need people really?

If we can become peers as souls on this journey of life, sharing, relating and caring a little, that would be the best reason to want people around. Detached, and yet attached. Not too much, not too little. Precious connection in those moments. THAT is why we need people. 

How can we detach and yet be attached?

We should remember that "people is a 3D concept". We should understand that each individual has their own journey which will ALWAYS differ from ours. But if their journey does align to ours, we have met someone who can be a true friend on this journey of life. We should stick to OUR own goals so that people can align, not the other way around. 

How can we transform our relationships?

We can transform our relationships by sharing our personal truth. The highest tribute one can pay to a genuine relationship is one's own personal truth knowing that it can completely break the relationship. If a person can understand or deal with this truth, they will connect at a different level, paving way for higher intimacy. If the person is baffled by it, they will move out of the circle, paving way for others who can deal with it. In both cases we have achieved the transparency that is elevating for both parties. We know where we stand with respect to each other, hence we give space to each other to grow. We don't block each other or pressurize each other to do something that adds resentment in the long run. Resentment defeats the entire purpose of a relationship. Why be with someone if their presence keeps us away from ourselves?

Grateful

Without a suitable friend, this journey can be so long and straining. This friend can listen and ideate; convey and explain; relate and retaliate - overall the experience then becomes of going through something together. So it’s bearable, the journey and it feels worthwhile. Even though it may all be meaningless, it’s meaningful in those moment. For this, I am grateful.