People, just like things, can be a distraction. Or they can be used as tools to know and grow. Their presence and absence both can teach us something about ourselves. Do we crave someone's company because we like them? Or perhaps they give us a purpose? Do we have a common agenda? Does their presence create a structure that we think defines our being or life? Keeping a person in mind, if we can define why we need that person, we will know something about ourselves, not them - but about ourselves.
Why should we need people really?
If we can become peers as souls on this journey of life, sharing, relating and caring a little, that would be the best reason to want people around. Detached, and yet attached. Not too much, not too little. Precious connection in those moments. THAT is why we need people.
How can we detach and yet be attached?
We should remember that "people is a 3D concept". We should understand that each individual has their own journey which will ALWAYS differ from ours. But if their journey does align to ours, we have met someone who can be a true friend on this journey of life. We should stick to OUR own goals so that people can align, not the other way around.
How can we transform our relationships?
We can transform our relationships by sharing our personal truth. The highest tribute one can pay to a genuine relationship is one's own personal truth knowing that it can completely break the relationship. If a person can understand or deal with this truth, they will connect at a different level, paving way for higher intimacy. If the person is baffled by it, they will move out of the circle, paving way for others who can deal with it. In both cases we have achieved the transparency that is elevating for both parties. We know where we stand with respect to each other, hence we give space to each other to grow. We don't block each other or pressurize each other to do something that adds resentment in the long run. Resentment defeats the entire purpose of a relationship. Why be with someone if their presence keeps us away from ourselves?
I have always asked myself this one question to myself at crucial points in my life.
"Will this change me? How will this change me?" If I have not liked the answer of what that change would do to me, I have not done it.
Of course I am paraphrasing but this realization and need to not submit myself to a change that will compromise my basic core being, has always saved me from disasters. Our life/destiny or whatever one calls it is guided by our nature. Any compromise to that basic nature hurts us, diminishes our aura and makes us feel small from within. This kind of choice or decision making seems very selfish from outside but it saves a lot more disasters and impact for everyone around. More importantly it saves our soul.
Why commit to a cause when it cannot be done with love and acceptance? Why commit to something when it is not aligned to one's nature? Why add karma and do something with half intent? Truth and transparency is what we owe to everyone in our life. The sooner we do it the better it is for everyone.
I turned 40 this year. I had once proclaimed when I was 32-33 that I am looking forward to my forties, I think I am going to have so much fun. And this statement is holding true alright, just not in the way I expected.
Sometimes the plan that universe has for us is better because it is what we need; not what we want.
The lights are up, the diyas are out, my Diwali corner is complete! I feel bright and happy. Its a pretty day, cloudy but pretty!
We have unlimited time in the present moment. It seems dilated and slowed. I call it "unlimited" because I cannot measure this duration. It feels longish when we are fully present and seems less when we are in a rush. I do know that it results in better productivity because we seem to be having "unlimited" time to handle a particular situation - we can do a lot more and can have a lot more impact. In this present moment, there is no hurry, which is counter productive anyways.
