I did journal a little more than I blogged this past couple of months. This month's highlight was 1st place in Science Fair; cancellation of India trip; upcoming trip to Hawaii and retreat. I am also going to Laguna Beach this coming weekend. Oh, kids joined me on a Indie Tom Hike. 

New Year, New Post!

Past two months have been this crazy or what! No updates here since Nov... :)

I recovered from the Holiday mood just this past weekend probably. Was able to get into the normal rhythm of things. First hike of the year was long pending. Hoping to be more regular there. 

I love walking aimless in cities, towns and in nature. It's my personal meditation. All I need is a light backpack with essentials, my phone, extra batteries and good walking shoes. I love it! 

My happy place :D

             

San Francisco

San Francisco is my muse. Ever since I landed on this continent 12 years back, the only place I gush about even though I stay so close to it. It is probably because I never get enough time with it. It entertains me with its ever changing mood and ambiance. How pretty it looked draped in rain and fog!

It all started with one man...

A story lost in time.

What happens to a heritage it's descendants do not want to be associated with. Yet sometime they can be found speaking of in hushed tones or bragging tones. Yet, no one wants to pursue it or claim it or be it or even elaborate on it.

The only way to end the memory of a painful time is to completely behave as if it never happened. It protects the coming generations. Choices are made to stay away, cut the connections, create new places, memories & stories.

The generation that faced the consequence will go one by one, taking the stories with them. Stories that are very intriguing, about places that are still there, about people who are still around - some of them known from far, very famous ones. Don't we all with time, reminisce more about our days gone by, yet this lot cannot speak of it without an associated sadness. Sometimes they speak about happier times with such joy and such clarity that we know that they have it all bottled up but they do not want the shadow of the past fall on progenies.

As an outsider, to me this seems fascinating, sad and courageous all at the same time. But only time will grant peace to the one connection that was completely shaped by the sequence of events.  

Serenity

As we were wrapping up at a restaurant, waiting for the check receipt, we took turns to call out what defined our vacation highlight. Somehow, the selection by each person called out their personalities & an aspect of self.

Mine was serene. I think it had to do with the day. 

Small Towns and Big Cities

Small towns are their own kind of judge. They look sleepy, laid back and peaceful but there is a distinct sense of cruelty that is at play - especially for people who are different. Just plain different. Difference could be in the form of non-conformation to general "expected" behavior to an actual exception to what is can be considered as a misfortune. These towns have their own way of questioning the non-conformists, of putting spotlight on people who would rather be left alone, of expecting these folks to change one day to conform.

Big cities seem impersonal, in a hurry and harsh. Yet they are kind. They let people be. They let non-conformists feel safe, at home, at peace. They shift the spotlight to opportunities that can let the non-conformists grow and explore, at their own pace, like an old friend who understands and gives space and waits, without judging.

And I remember...

He hugged him and turned towards her. His concern was visible in his movement. His touch communicated more than his words could ever have. His voice betrayed his worry. Yet, his words were appropriate for the occasion. Very casual and normal under the circumstances. He waited for them to board the train. And waited long after the train left.

At the table

As we sat there on the table, it suddenly felt pointless. My focus shifted from being a part of it, to observing us. Suddenly I was seeing faces, expressions, body language and eyes. The table was full of people with different aspirations, at different stages of their lives with very different stories. And they all seemed either equally interested or equally bored or equally being what they were supposed "to be", on that table. The conversation was totally random, and yet somehow same.

Shoreline from My Nook

Walk in the Woods

So she did it on purpose. Took that inviting, winding path in the woods that just diverged from the usual taken road. Her heart skipped a beat or two and a smile involuntarily skipped her. It was no major adventure but it was different from usual. She came to a low clump of trees - all meeting at the base and branching as one goes up. It was in her way so she took left from that path to another winding trail to her left and it led her to the lake. It was bright and sunny but not hot. And it was very quite. It was so near and yet she felt so far from everything she knew. She threw some stones in the water to hear the plop sound they make and smiled at them. And then she just sat down where she was standing. She had to take it all in. As she focused on water that was moving with the breeze, she got strange feeling one gets when one is looking at a moving train from the platform. 

I had this wish and I had this want

To see the world and rush all around

I did most of it in the crazy days

I had the best of company

An image has stayed with me from our recent road trip. A red car on a wide, unpaved road with mountains in the backdrop and green fields on either side pausing for it's turn on the highway 101. And just next to that was a vineyard with fresh growing crops, all lined up in neat rows. As we rushed past them, each row greeted us and let us view it's pretty path.

Scrumaging my mind for many moments that had nothing to do with people. Just places and little details like a winding alley where I wanted to go but could not and though I promised myself that I would come back - I could never go back. Or the chestnuts that I ate - I remember the face of the hawker till now. Or how I felt at that moment when I drove down the slide all alone in the sun, while the green fields and hills lay in front of me, almost out of a picture or a movie. And how I flicked a miniature cow figurine from outside someone's house cause I wanted something to remember it by. My train ride back - all alone and with no body around. How a city felt in the wake of morning - one of the most famous cities of all. Or a street that I walked, even though with few people, it felt all alone.

Sometimes I worry that I may forget all these little things which mean more to me than anything else in those days. 

Orhei Vechi

So this is a simple picture of a place in some time with some folks in it - frozen. And Intriguing. 

My obsession with Europe. Does not always start and end with France, Italy and Spain. It spans the width and length of western and not so western Europe. It goes eastward to become a full fledged romance with Russia, to me it shall always be the USSR. Southern mediterranean bliss and historical northern land of the Angles. It always seems prettier in my head than any where else. And today is one of those days when it has flooded my essence with it's presence - so strong that I ache. 

Splendid Five

Manarola, Cinque Terre, Italy 

Golden Mediterranean

The Golden Rush of Sunny Sun
The Vibrant Colors of Your Brush
Do a Greater Justice than I think
To the Lovely Hues of Cinque Terre

Church Overlooking Sea, Santorini, Cyclades, Greek Islands, Greece

I was that passionate sun that raced to be all around the world at the same time. In my imagination it was a limitless journey to the wonderland one has heard about. How else we would meet if we ever had to meet in a new place, new time and a new memory. In my dreams it still comes back and I know I have to do this. 

The colorful calmness of all this wrings the passion out of me. I like the serene scheme of things and the whiteness that surrounds it still. There lies a mystery in all this, which if known, will not be that fascinating.