Ram

Absolutely stunning - Ram

Nothing new but probably understood a little better? 

Diwali

 

Devi

 

Relate

सबकी ममता त्याग बटोरी .. this came up a couple of days after I had realized it on my own. I was able to relate to this statement and hence the author and eventually ended up buying the book. 

A girl who is a little elder but so much wiser, I want her to be my friend. If she is there, I do not need anything else - I can provide instead. 

Why do we have to remember

I had written this some time back - Level Up

We have to remember for the sake of remembrance. Not to achieve anything. Not to meet anybody. Not to get anything at the end. Because there is nothing to get anyways. 

We have to remember because that is who we are. 

We do not want to forget ourselves. 

Everything is a path or process to remember. Whatever it takes, we must remember. 

I am more curious about how did we forget in the first place. What caused the memory loss? Was it Ms. M whose job anyways is to make us forget? Who created M - did we create it and lost control over it? The path to memory loss is easy, the path to remembrance is an uphill battle. 

Today when P said, it should be done for itself - for the sake of itself - it reminded me about this thought that had come to me about remembering. 

Pain

1. Trust the process

2. It is by design - imagine a conveyer belt

3. Sit through the process and pain - moving will disrupt the process and pain will shift elsewhere. It may look that the pain has been relived but it will settle elsewhere and the whole process will start again. It’s painful every way.

4. The pain will becoming soothing after a bit - it’s a sinusoidal wave - it does become better if we have the patience to follow the process by all design principles.

5. Pain is a teacher. 

6. Pain helps to focus and get attention.

7. Pain is more helpful overall.

8. It diminishes ego. 

9. In the absence of ego the true process can start. 

10. The process is designed to move from gross to subtle sensations.

11. We want the subtle sensations since they are at higher frequencies.

12. Higher frequencies tend to zero. 

13. At some point the bliss starts taking over such that the sensations don’t matter as much and hence right action can be performed. 

14. The bliss keeps you preoccupied and is a happy state of its own - only because it’s like a high and the mind can come up with out of the box ideas. 

15. Shifting the focus changes the state of being. 

16. We become all powerful and come closer to the essence 

Kind to who deserve and extremely stern when principles are at stake - it has to be a combination of both. 

Yog

Gyan, Bhakti and Karma yog - I need to be familiar with all three. I have so far been attracted more to Gyan yog. And recently it felt a little short of making me feel better. I am being guided towards others now. 

I had noticed this one person on reels on Instagram - past 2 weeks. On Thursday evening 7th Sep, I got curious to know who this person was.. the name was not mentioned anywhere. On 8th morning, got to know his name for the first time - took me some time to find it. His looks, his face, his pronunciation etc. was not that attractive, as his tone was - the concern was visible and that kind of attracted me to even find out who he was. Well, I watched his daily videos starting 7th Sep 2023 and it has been fun so far. 

He makes me want to make few changes. 

Sitting

As I sat, I felt as a blob of pain. Like a whole blob that is sitting on that mat. I moved and the pain was relieved for a bit. But it started again - as it shifted. It started again from zero. What would have happened if the movement had not happened? I know that - I have done that before. 

What if the energy ray can shine when it is absolutely still? If it moves, its shine dims. What if the stillness is needed to shine. 

So grow where you are planted. "महलों में रखें चाहे झोपड़े में वास दे...". Live through what has to be. Sit Still. 

When there is difference in "what you know is right" and "what you do in spite", there is a discontent in self and life. No amount of knowing will help if that knowing is not followed up with some action.   

One way is to bridge that gap. But it requires self discipline of highest order. And that also is yog. 

Level Up

Why did we forget ourselves and? Why do we have to remember?

We have to remember who we are at all times so that we can be the single ray of consciousness that we are. The calm face that I saw is our identity or rather the essence of that figure is our identity. The further away we are from that center, the more comical we look. If we remember who we are, we will never act silly because being that requires absolute integrity on principles and being a true human. While we are totally aware, we can "pretend" to be silly just for fun, but we cannot "be" silly. If we remember this at all times, we can get to the next level where everyone abides by the eternal laws at all times and can see cosmic dance for what it is. What happens from there? A says this group then evolves to understand the mass consciousness and proceeds from there to get to the next level. When does this leveling up stops?

Meeting

If there were two things that had to meet at the present moment - those things have to be ready for each other. If they are really destined to meet, they will avoid each other absolutely till they are ready to meet. These things could be people or events. They will engage with literally anything at all but each other. This is true for everything. If we see time as a continuous straight line, these two items are rivulets that take their pre-determined path to intersect at the common place at the right time. They cut their teeth on everything around to prepare for this meeting - they meander till they face each other and then they meet. 

Silent in the moment

The intention needs to be set up, whenever we have to get into a cosmic dance with another. Any activity requires it. During the entire interaction, the others show who they are and if both are flowing in the moment, every movement is responded to as required. If we are not in the moment, we fail to notice the specific need and we straight get to the last step or anticipated need making the process not as pleasurable. Silence helps to listen and focus on what is needed in the moment.  

When I speak up or think ahead, I interfere with the dance, I break the character. I get pulled out of the moment and appear as a cartoon character who is just parroting what should be said as per the set up. By doing this we get distracted more and we break the process further. The cosmic dance does not require us to know the next step but flowing and playing with it, we create a pleasant and just needed experience which is lacking nothing. Interestingly it is always what is wanted by the system and everyone benefits with this. When the participants are not in the moment, everyone is distracted and it further distracts everyone and the cosmic play starts to lose the fun - hence we all need to be silent. The mirroring happens during silence and the responses are better - even if the other person is caught by surprise. 

Once we are in the moment, with our silence we can hear better, participate better and respond exactly to the need. It is by going with the flow, is that I know what is needed next - not by thinking about it. And this is extended to everyone we interact with implying that intention needs to be set all over. Its all about knowing and reading the other person better so that they can know you better. Honesty is needed so we can respond to what is needed; otherwise we respond to something that's not the truth and hence spoil the process further. 

How are we so programmed? Did we do this as a shortcut?

Demons

Your demons are your old friends. You should welcome them and treat them with kindness. Make them pals with your treatment. They are not scary at all - they have stayed in the shadow too long and they need some sun. Treat them as small, spoilt kid who cannot articulate and hence creates drama. Talk to them and make them feel better. They complete you - they are parts that you hide and hence they are upset with you for abandoning them. Their wounds are festering and all of that needs your love to heal. They need your attention. 

Barbie

• Matriarchy and Patriarchy  
• I remember walking in a conference room, talking to my friend over a phone call and as I usually do, talking my thoughts out loud. I remember flipping the scenarios and accepting that it would be as disastrous in a Matriarchy. It would make women behave like men. They would treat men as stallions for work and pleasure (just as men treat women). It would again be a world that would not work out since no one likes to be treated like that. 
• I saw this depicted in Barbie-land, though it did not come close to the crassness with which men could be treated in the world I had imagined.  
• So I had concluded that a perfect world would require perfect equality and mutual respect for everyone. And that requires being a nice human first - as the movie calls out, it starts with knowing who one is without everything else in the picture. That is step number 1.
• Plight of women
• The day I decided to end things, that evening I had cried with such strong emotions trying to articulate how women are treated - how I was treated and how every other women I knew was treated. Most of the time women have no where to go because the do not know how to leave the only world they know. I had physically ached explaining how disgusting it was for men to treat women so poorly when no one deserves to be treated like that. Interestingly the cases I was thinking about back then where not even close to the cruelty with which men actually treat women. Somehow those simple instances were enough to make my blood boil - anymore than that would have invoked violence in me. It had played as a propellent for me to decide that evening. And his shocked face was pure gold - because I knew he could not comprehend a single word I said - as I had not in all these past years of my life. 
• It arrived as America Ferrera's monologue though yet again it was just barely touching the surface of phenomenon women actually experience in man's world. And even this much hit so hard because it was being delivered in a room full of women in the movie and the audience was shocked - I know this because I saw this movie two times and both times there was pin drop uncomfortable silence in the theater. In that moment, everyone was listening. 

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Barbie is an important movie of this age. 

Romance and Sexuality

The text book meaning of Romance is "excitement associated with love and all the expressions that come with it". The way I understand this is - if love is made up of intellectual, spiritual and physical connection, Romance is the intellectual and spiritual aspect of it. I put the physical aspect under Sexuality and it could be as innocent as holding hands to the most physical act of love making. 

Romance can stand alone and so can Sexuality but while romance on its own can be handled by almost everyone, sexuality on its own can be handled only by very evolved beings. This is because sexuality on its own erupts the very fabrication of self in contrast with social conditioning and its repercussions can be seen. It can be extremely life altering and requires a lot of maturity to just get through with the way things are perceived to be. The end result is usually complete obliteration of self, if and only if, someone can go through it without losing their mind first. So it's difficult to understand and should never be tried casually. 

Romance on its own can be that self-altering only if the individual takes it that seriously. The problem with romance on its own is that the chances of its fizzling before it can become self-altering is real. Since physicality persists but anything that is of mind and spirit cannot be seen and hence chances are can be dismissed by most people as something simpler. The repercussions are less obvious so the pain is proportionate to the individual's sensitivity and awareness. 

Both are painful but while in romance pain is proportionate to the individual's sensitivity and awareness, sexuality becomes painful by social conditioning and repercussions that come with it. Both can be lessons - just like anything else - only if the individual is willing to learn from it. Actually romance or sexuality are all pathways or means to get to the same goal - unconditional love. But just like every other pathway, it depends on how much truth and introspection one can bring to the process. The results differ and so does the elegance associated with these paths solely based on that self awareness. 

Travel

I came across this real on Instagram - Aurora

I did not know who she was - Norwegian musician, songwriter and singer - Aurora Aksnes. I like the way she talks. She reminded me of what I had written long back on Quora nine years ago - Why do we love to travel

"Traveling is the best way to discover ourselves. Whenever we travel we are not bound by the daily trivialities of leading a life of routine, of knowns. We open ourselves to possibilities and places that are new to us. We focus on just the travel - the present - free of past or future. The duration between the starting point and destination is free of our own complications and our conditioned mind. That is why it brings the best in us, everyone around us and every place we visit. And we love that feeling - we love to travel."

The only thing I'd want to add here is that as a traveler, one becomes an observer. Observer of humanity and observer of self - the awareness it brings in self is the reason why we all love to travel. It speaks to us - those moments where we are open to feeling and embracing the unknown. 

I love to travel. 

ratio and proportion

It needs to be pursued with a madness. Whatever that is. The results are proportional. 

Write

Vegas, Russian River, New York. Aladdin / Barbie. 

3 days of sleeping in. 3 nights of going out. 

Feeling this need to write. 

Flow

It flows like a river and you can see it flowing - just observe it. Shiny and flowing. 

There is a table that has shiny rocks of different sizes - you can pick the ones that you want to observe; if you do not pick something, it is just there.   

Ingrain

Everything has a rise and fall - everything - sensations in my body, my feelings, my thoughts, events, people and everything that I can think of. Everything has to be observed without any associated aversion or attraction. It needs to be ingrained in my psyche. 

How can I serve?

You can move from a group to another group - any group you want. Every group has a "persona" just like we have one in product management and all of those personas are equally interesting and boring depending on what you already know. To me it all seems boring and noisy and lip-service after a point. They look interesting from outside, they are all the same from inside. So depending on what one likes or wants, they can become that to join the club. What if I do not like what the clubs offer from inside but find them interesting from outside? What if I do not even want to know anymore clubs because they are all the same for me? What if nothing impresses me any more? I knew this in 2018? Why am I taking such a long route for what I already know? 

Fear that not; be not awed

“Fear it not. Be not terrified. Be not awed. Know it to be the embodiment of thine own intellect. As it is thine own tutelary deity, be not terrified.”

It is karmic personification of your own disposition.You know them so meet them as old acquaintances.

Drama

I sway and I struggle between 2 opposites - I know what is right yet I end up as a bundle of nerves. I do see it all as a 3rd person and frankly I am a little tired of my own drama that I create. At least I know it’s my own drama :-) 

Freedom

Create space or rather free up your headspace for creativity. Everything else is just a waste of time! Freedom is above all. 

Everyone is a mixed bag.

Be in the moment.

No aversion; no attraction. 

I cannot be moved(scared / happy) by anything that I create. 

Senses

This world contains filth, sadness, pain and exploitation as much as it contains the opposites. We crave the opposites but hate the filth. We cannot stand the brutalities and those facts / stories haunt us. We try to forget and behave as if those things do not exist. But they do. It is after all the other side of the coin. Its the absence of something that makes something else so valuable. Hence has to be treated with equanimity because it is as precious or not. 

Also, it is a mind game. We are all diseased and plagued by our minds - so we get what we think we deserve at the moment. If we cannot imagine or believe something better, we won't be able to overcome what is. But for that first, we need to know what even is the current state. Are we even able to objectively see our current states? Does that not get colored by our conditioning? So what is real then? Is it what we feel or is it what we think that we are feeling?

The world is experienced through 5 senses - sight, smell, taste, hearing and feeling - that is real. Not what the conditioning explains those senses are sensing. Can we differentiate? I am sitting on the couch and that is real. Everything else about that state will be a story that I will tell myself or others.  

Nike :D

In one of the sessions, I had asked my friend to note down "we need to do it so that we can remember". Interestingly, in that moment, I knew "what had to be remembered". It was super clear like I was feeling "what that was". 

Yesterday I tried explaining that again. It is the source, the starting point, the purity, the bliss - the point from where everything just went south and has been unable to recover. It's like the algorithm went rouge and never recovered. It learnt and learnt and was totally unable to remember what it was before it learnt anything. That point is bliss. We see glimpses of it but we are unable to sustain or maintain that state. It is in order to remember and be in that moment, that we need to do it. 

Just do it. 

The Buddha

The world has become desensitized - every form of pain, sorrow and suffering has been normalized. How can the insensitive even understand this?

Where are my people at?

I'd like to reach out and talk to people at a level that I can see they are at - however, my approaching them changes the whole dynamic and spoils the taste. 

Note to Self

People will learn when they have to learn. Their experience comes from their being. I should let go. My experiences are carving my path that I can already see. I just need to fully accept it. 

Insensitive

I have not been able to process of insensitivity meted out to a person I knew by his own "people" to date. I saw people turn; fans and followers change - to an extent that it gave a spotlight to the loneliness. 

Sensitive people are collecting enough data about the world and then they tend to crash. I say, be sensitive and develop a thick skin. Do not forget - so that you can ignore completely. 

Core

Every time I lose track of the core; the force shakes me back to the path. Every time I have forgotten that feeling; there has been a rude awakening. It wants me to focus and prioritize on it - in return it will take care of me. 

For me..

4/22 - another episode that made me extremely grateful. The universe knows what’s it’s doing. It is I who should not even question that. Everything that is happening is for me. If that force is taking care of me with so much love; I should not be worried at all. It is all for me; it is all for me. 

Snow!

Sent from my iPhone

Need normalcy

Feb and Mar has not been ideal weather wise in the Bay Area - we've been hit by the atmospheric rains and my hikes were on a pause. There was a lot to load at work and at home. It's only today that I am probably even trying to get back to normalcy. 

Leveled-up

This year, we leveled up in life. While we had a lot of fun, the time after has a lot of work to do.

Gratitude

• It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful - David Steindl-Rast
• The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see - Mary Davis
• Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind - Lionel Hampton 
• Gratitude for the present moment and the fullness of life now is true prosperity - Eckhart Tolle