Alone, Pt. 2

We all need that someone who gets you like no one else 

Right when you need it the most 

We all need a soul to rely on 

A shoulder to cry on 

A friend through the highs and the lows. 

If I can observe something, I can change it. 

Say

Spend your time in the company of geniuses, sages, children and books.

- Naval

Happy Days!

Today was a happy day. See what you did on such days, try to do more of them!

Doordash!

I love Doordash! It surprises me every time. It just knows what I want to eat, even when I do not know what is it that I am craving for :-)

Tandoori pizza

Chaat

Moong daal halwa 

Sauteed Jalapeno Tofu  

Indian Thali

And much, much more! 😋

Faith

I am happy! The various ways in which universe reiterates and confirms is absolutely fantastic. I mean all we ever have to do is take that leap of faith. 

Yog

All my planned or accidental mediative attempts have resulted in distinct differentiation of sooksham and sthool - vibrations  resulting in feeling heaviness and lightness at the same time. They separate out and it implies that the lightness can move around. It can move around without me leaving the spot. I was floating but I was also connected. 

I have experienced that movement once - where I move so fast that I can see myself connected with the whole. 

#soundbath #experiences

There is no error in the system. 

Being Nobody

Relating implies understanding something that is known through the experience of self with another. Recognizing and accepting it gives the freedom to be the other. It removes barriers and distances. It implies, you can be anyone you can relate to - in fact it implies you already are that. Can you really be in awe of or look down upon something you can relate to? No. 

Here’s hoping one can relate to many, many things - since it indicates varied experiences, rich life experiences and deep understanding of self and others. It brings empathy, compassion and love. 

Puzzle

When I finally recognized the importance of a connection, all I can say is that things fell in their place. Everything. Sometimes to view something clearly, we need to pan out - to see the whole picture - why did something happen the way it happened. It's as if a jigsaw puzzle started making sense. You see, it seems chaotic, when the puzzle pieces are handed to you one by one but once it creates some sort of pattern upon slow, painful connections - it suddenly fits and makes sense. You know it is a particular pattern. You do not have the full picture yet, but you have a sense of where this is going. That sense itself is calming because it implies there is a direction and hence a meaningful end. It's not all wasted, it's not all inexplaniable - it means something. To a seemingly directionless soul, this means a lot. 

You see, the soul is not lost - it never was. 

Like a friend told to me - "To be stuck in the Phantom zone only to realize that one was Superman" all this while! 

Basic Nature

I have always asked myself this one question to myself at crucial points in my life. 

"Will this change me? How will this change me?" If I have not liked the answer of what that change would do to me, I have not done it. 

Of course I am paraphrasing but this realization and need to not submit myself to a change that will compromise my basic core being, has always saved me from disasters. Our life/destiny or whatever one calls it is guided by our nature. Any compromise to that basic nature hurts us, diminishes our aura and makes us feel small from within. This kind of choice or decision making seems very selfish from outside but it saves a lot more disasters and impact for everyone around. More importantly it saves our soul. 

Why commit to a cause when it cannot be done with love and acceptance? Why commit to something when it is not aligned to one's nature? Why add karma and do something with half intent? Truth and transparency is what we owe to everyone in our life. The sooner we do it the better it is for everyone. 

40s

I turned 40 this year. I had once proclaimed when I was 32-33 that I am looking forward to my forties, I think I am going to have so much fun. And this statement is holding true alright, just not in the way I expected. 

Sometimes the plan that universe has for us is better because it is what we need; not what we want. 

In Love

"If your soul is not ready to surrender to another soul, don't tell anyone you're in love."

- Shams Tabrez

50%

They've warned me. It will be not easy. 

But if I keep my intention clean and I do not forget what made me decide my path, it will be easy for all. 

Simple. 

I need to always check my intention and remember why I chose this more difficult path. 

Issues

Any issue that is an issue for one, is an issue in oneself.

The fact that something is bothersome implies it is not resolved in self. 

Simple to state but difficult to see especially since we all have blind spots. 

Limited

People are limited. They are limited in their thoughts. They do not want to see other perspectives. But that's ok. Everyone is learning. 

Life

I love this life 🥰🤩🥳

Home

• The expectation of permanence from mortals is naive. That kind of state can only be achieved with self and the extension of self (Atman and Paramatman). 
• This thought brings freedom - to do anything without expecting anything from anyone. The subconscious fear of change cannot drive self anymore. 
• What we seek in the other, already exists in us. Only we can fulfill ourselves completely. Others can only be catalysts and can make us think/realize alone. That's their role. The actual realization needs to come from us. 
• Any change induced in self to be accepted by others is an aberration. It is wrong. It is self harming. 
• Remember, who you are. 
• The presence I was looking for in my own home is already living there. What freedom and what joy! I come back to the home that already has that presence. 
• We are all alone in this journey, truly alone. Everyone and everything else around us just helps us till we need their help to come to this realization. This realization is not an unhappy one. It is very liberating; as if some weight has lifted. It brings satisfaction and joy of finally knowing. 
• It is my job to be present for others but I cannot make them evolve till they themselves are ready to evolve. 
• So now that I know this, let me have a nice time and do everything that I love to do!

 Today is Chaitra Durga Ashtami. 

Path

My journey is mine. Even as I walk with others, I should not forget what is it that I should be doing. I have my own path to walk. So let’s remember that. 

Equanimity

The equanimity to face all of this cannot be rooted in denial. Rather it must be rooted in an acknowledgment of how it all is. But to look head-on at the horrible beauty of the universe as is, without hiding behind fantasy or denial and selective perception, takes guts. To look Shiva in the eye, to acknowledge the violent as well as the gentle, the ugliness as well as the beauty, the greed and selfishness as well as the compassion and mercy, the sickness, death, and decay as well as health and life—and to all of it—ALL of IT—to say “YES!” – that is the ground on which true equanimity rests.

—Ram Dass

The Fiercest Work

"The fiercest work is to look people in the eye, and deal with poverty, greed, lust, anger, and impurities, and politicians and paranoia and say, “Yes, yes, yes, I see it all, I understand it all, I have to hear my part in it, and do it purely and with love." 

Ram Dass on Instagram

Mirror

 The mirror offers a perspective that I couldn't see from inside my own head. 

Hammy and Bubbles

Loss of a pet hits hard. Even when one is mentally prepared for it. It is like witnessing irreversible process that is heartbreaking and unacceptable. Death is cold and hard. No amount of logic or thought process prepares one for the final step. Witnessing death leads to an emptiness that can only be felt, not expressed. 

I lost Hammy and Bubbles this week; probably on the same day - few hours here and there. I just don't know for sure because Hammy went missing before he came to his cage to curl up in a long slumber. He did not get up after that. Bubbles was pronounced dead on arrival at the emergency - a drive too long probably. 

Path you Walk

“The path you are walking originates from discovering who you are and embracing your true nature and value. It originates from your love for yourself. It originates from self respect and willingness to stand up for yourself. It stems from self belief.”

“Doubts that you get, anxiety that feel originates from “how will I be perceived”. It stems from the need to fit in, to be what is considered normal by people around you, to not stick out. We hate being judged because we want to be accepted and included. But true acceptance and inclusion comes only from people who are at our level. Else it starts feeling like a farce. Remember the feeling you have when you look back at how you were trying to fit in. How you wonder that you wasted so much time trying to buy acceptance? That is the path this doubt and anxiety wants you to walk again.”

What you need is not to elevate people or wait for them to accept you, but to find better class of people.

Words from a dear friend in times of self doubt. 

This week in March

This week has been defined by 2 names: 

1. Maye Musk

2. Robert Scoble

And just as I was searching for something else, Brian Roemmele's note: 

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back — concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1773

PS: On ClubHouse, it was Rinpoche Shyalpa. He confirmed that I am on the right track. 

Joy

I stayed up last night because I just wanted to rush and do all the things in the world! Why have I been so cooped up in my life..I need to get out and be. 

Oh the joy! There are no coincidences and the fact that you attract what you need is so true. I am happy to be in this space. I don't want to stop now. 

Women..

"Of all the nasty outcomes predicted for women's liberation … none was more alarming than the suggestion that women would eventually become just like men."

Barbara Ehrenreich

Birth Date

“A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life.”
― Amit Kalantri, Wealth of Words

Right Path

Q: How does one know that they are on the right path?

A: They are calm and at peace even when there is chaos around them.  

Reflection

 

Note to Self

 Do more of what makes you happy!

#explore #explorations #hiking #earlymornings #nature #newplaces #travel

Choices

One key piece of information that I had probably not understood very well to articulate some time back came to me today, as usual, when I was not looking for it. I have often thought about macro level and micro level choices. See Bandersnatch.

In my quest to understand "prarabdh" and "a man is owner of his destiny" I would fail to grasp what choices could change the destiny and what choices cannot change anything. I think the answer lies in two layers. The choice is made by a man in the moment who is the sum total of everything before him. At any given time he is hurtling towards his destiny as if gravitated by fate. Yet if in a moment, he can detach himself from the whole history and geography of things and decide to do something that is on its own merit the right thing to do, he can alter the outcome. In that moment, he may still be pulled by his destiny but he'd have altered his karma. Every time he does this little tweak in his pathway, he can make his own path a little easier and the outcome at the end of the journey is pleasantly pleasant. 

He may still be sitting in a crowded subway but he can be at peace and eating an ice cream. 

This was the New Year realization. May 2021 be filled with multiple tweaks in the right direction.