This is needed as part of cosmic dance. What worries me then? Is it that I will be alone or is it that I won’t have this one person? Or is it that I just need anyone around? 

Logic tells me I am not alone anyways. Sharanagati abhi hui nahi hai.

There is a sensation that comes back. It is a reaction to unfairness, to broken dreams, to not being seen. Unfortunately no one can ever fix that. It leaves a bitter, cold taste but adds strength and resolve to proceed without any regrets. It solidifies a cold demeanor further reminding us that warmth should always be saved for self. Neither missing the warm self, nor being fond of the cold self - it’s just a state maybe. Observing and letting it be. The sensations that wash over with the rare reminder are real. 

Shasta

I dialed down every other “sound”, “feeling”, “sensation” - literally like a dial. It became quiet as I focused on one tiny spot and I amplified it just how we zoom into a picture. I could feel it better; I could concentrate on it better! 

3rd Feb

44.

Past 2 months have had experiences go all over the place. I visited Braj bhoomi in December. I was able to be in the same room with someone I admire a lot. December also saw 2 camping trips - both turned out better than expected. https://www.cavesprings.com/ is highly recommended or rather the town of Dunsmuir is fun!

Jan was overwhelming. US politics, Mahakumbh, prices of eggs, Nvidia and Deepseek. But it also saw start of my teaching journey - let's where the universe is taking me with this. I was busy this month with work, home and projects. 

But I cannot shake this undertone of something being amiss. Why?