All my planned or accidental mediative attempts have resulted in distinct differentiation of sooksham and sthool - vibrations resulting in feeling heaviness and lightness at the same time. They separate out and it implies that the lightness can move around. It can move around without me leaving the spot. I was floating but I was also connected.
I have experienced that movement once - where I move so fast that I can see myself connected with the whole.
#soundbath #experiences
When I finally recognized the importance of a connection, all I can say is that things fell in their place. Everything. Sometimes to view something clearly, we need to pan out - to see the whole picture - why did something happen the way it happened. It's as if a jigsaw puzzle started making sense. You see, it seems chaotic, when the puzzle pieces are handed to you one by one but once it creates some sort of pattern upon slow, painful connections - it suddenly fits and makes sense. You know it is a particular pattern. You do not have the full picture yet, but you have a sense of where this is going. That sense itself is calming because it implies there is a direction and hence a meaningful end. It's not all wasted, it's not all inexplaniable - it means something. To a seemingly directionless soul, this means a lot.
You see, the soul is not lost - it never was.
Like a friend told to me - "To be stuck in the Phantom zone only to realize that one was Superman" all this while!
I have always asked myself this one question to myself at crucial points in my life.
"Will this change me? How will this change me?" If I have not liked the answer of what that change would do to me, I have not done it.
Of course I am paraphrasing but this realization and need to not submit myself to a change that will compromise my basic core being, has always saved me from disasters. Our life/destiny or whatever one calls it is guided by our nature. Any compromise to that basic nature hurts us, diminishes our aura and makes us feel small from within. This kind of choice or decision making seems very selfish from outside but it saves a lot more disasters and impact for everyone around. More importantly it saves our soul.
Why commit to a cause when it cannot be done with love and acceptance? Why commit to something when it is not aligned to one's nature? Why add karma and do something with half intent? Truth and transparency is what we owe to everyone in our life. The sooner we do it the better it is for everyone.
I turned 40 this year. I had once proclaimed when I was 32-33 that I am looking forward to my forties, I think I am going to have so much fun. And this statement is holding true alright, just not in the way I expected.
Sometimes the plan that universe has for us is better because it is what we need; not what we want.
