He who died

I was always angry and hurt at how he was treated by everyone around him. They were jealous of him and they wanted him to 1) to be exclusively theirs 2) listen to them 3) entertain them 4) be with them.

But they were inferior to him. So how could he listen to them or be with them? He could entertain them but that was mostly when he was bored or wanted to have fun at their expense. 

So they pulled him down. They found issues. They spread stories. They gasped and gossiped. They made him something not worth having. They felt better after that. Since they were all in it, they felt it was alright. They felt justified. 

They killed the only person who could’ve uplifted them. 

They deserved each other and every one else that was in it.  The cruelty was something. And they all claimed they loved him - only he was not up to that love. 

And he did what he had to - he tried to cope the way he knew. He was a child who lacked guidance. He was a beautiful toy given to brutes. He was destroyed and not understood. 

He was dead and finally he was at peace. 

Young people these days are career-oriented, focused on getting settled in the world - so by the time they are in their 30s, they have dated but not married. They are successful in every way but they do not have a partner. I hear that they are extremely unhappy. Are they really unhappy or are they just experiencing FOMO? Are the truly miserable or their lack of not having a partner is causing an unseen discrimination, bias and insecurity in them? Will such people be less miserable if society does not put so much weightage on marriage? Saying that people have a lot of options today is wrong - men always had options even before - they could approach families for marriage and reject girls till they found what they wanted. 

The problem is that women have options now and the rate a which they are rejecting men was not possible before. This is resulting in them also being single for longer - which was avoided by early marriages / arranged marriages and such. They'd discover the flaws of the partner AFTER they had committed and no one was allowed to leave. Even if they wanted to leave, they had less to no choice.

So the pain associated with marriage was always there, its just that it is becoming more transparent and hence the so called "confusion" and "noise". How come a structure that was historically working is not working anymore? The hush-hush corruption in the system kept it going. You see no one was talking about it. 

The amount of pressure people put on themselves in finding a partner is insane. Having lived all these years and experienced many aspects of the same, I can vouch safely that it is just another path not just THE path as society makes it seem. The number of people who think they can never be happy because they do not have a partner is insane! And they do not consider companionship that comes from other sources to even fill that gap. And I do understand the need to have that one person that "gets" you, but it is impossible for another person to "get" you because they are not you! That leaves companionship limited to have someone around so that one is not lonely emotionally or physically. From an emotional point of view as long as someone is around to share and care (respect, love etc.) even if they are not a partner, does that not count? From a physical point of view, there are two aspects - sexual and purely having a body around so that one is not scared or lonely as one goes about one's life. Out of these two, sexual companionship is the need that can met only by a partner. 

So are we as a society, equating marriage to sex mainly and everything else mentioned above will come along with it? What if some other things mentioned above are missing? Should someone marry under pressure? When the marriage status is equated with the happiness and overall value of a person - is that not scary? Everyone starts discriminating people on the basis of marital status? 

If the pressure of marriage is removed, won't people be a lot more happier? May be then, they can peacefully focus on themselves instead of focusing on finding a suitable partner. All that extra energy will go in something more meaningful in my opinion. 

Pain

1. Trust the process

2. It is by design - imagine a conveyer belt

3. Sit through the process and pain - moving will disrupt the process and pain will shift elsewhere. It may look that the pain has been relived but it will settle elsewhere and the whole process will start again. It’s painful every way.

4. The pain will becoming soothing after a bit - it’s a sinusoidal wave - it does become better if we have the patience to follow the process by all design principles.

5. Pain is a teacher. 

6. Pain helps to focus and get attention.

7. Pain is more helpful overall.

8. It diminishes ego. 

9. In the absence of ego the true process can start. 

10. The process is designed to move from gross to subtle sensations.

11. We want the subtle sensations since they are at higher frequencies.

12. Higher frequencies tend to zero. 

13. At some point the bliss starts taking over such that the sensations don’t matter as much and hence right action can be performed. 

14. The bliss keeps you preoccupied and is a happy state of its own - only because it’s like a high and the mind can come up with out of the box ideas. 

15. Shifting the focus changes the state of being. 

16. We become all powerful and come closer to the essence 

Meeting

If there were two things that had to meet at the present moment - those things have to be ready for each other. If they are really destined to meet, they will avoid each other absolutely till they are ready to meet. These things could be people or events. They will engage with literally anything at all but each other. This is true for everything. If we see time as a continuous straight line, these two items are rivulets that take their pre-determined path to intersect at the common place at the right time. They cut their teeth on everything around to prepare for this meeting - they meander till they face each other and then they meet. 

Travel

I came across this real on Instagram - Aurora

I did not know who she was - Norwegian musician, songwriter and singer - Aurora Aksnes. I like the way she talks. She reminded me of what I had written long back on Quora nine years ago - Why do we love to travel

"Traveling is the best way to discover ourselves. Whenever we travel we are not bound by the daily trivialities of leading a life of routine, of knowns. We open ourselves to possibilities and places that are new to us. We focus on just the travel - the present - free of past or future. The duration between the starting point and destination is free of our own complications and our conditioned mind. That is why it brings the best in us, everyone around us and every place we visit. And we love that feeling - we love to travel."

The only thing I'd want to add here is that as a traveler, one becomes an observer. Observer of humanity and observer of self - the awareness it brings in self is the reason why we all love to travel. It speaks to us - those moments where we are open to feeling and embracing the unknown. 

I love to travel. 

The Buddha

The world has become desensitized - every form of pain, sorrow and suffering has been normalized. How can the insensitive even understand this?

Insensitive

I have not been able to process of insensitivity meted out to a person I knew by his own "people" to date. I saw people turn; fans and followers change - to an extent that it gave a spotlight to the loneliness. 

Sensitive people are collecting enough data about the world and then they tend to crash. I say, be sensitive and develop a thick skin. Do not forget - so that you can ignore completely. 

Healing of a generation

Just by being ourselves, our true and authentic selves we can show others how it is done. Some times it takes to see it up close to figure it out. 

People and Relationships

People, just like things, can be a distraction. Or they can be used as tools to know and grow. Their presence and absence both can teach us something about ourselves. Do we crave someone's company because we like them? Or perhaps they give us a purpose? Do we have a common agenda? Does their presence create a structure that we think defines our being or life? Keeping a person in mind, if we can define why we need that person, we will know something about ourselves, not them - but about ourselves. 

Why should we need people really?

If we can become peers as souls on this journey of life, sharing, relating and caring a little, that would be the best reason to want people around. Detached, and yet attached. Not too much, not too little. Precious connection in those moments. THAT is why we need people. 

How can we detach and yet be attached?

We should remember that "people is a 3D concept". We should understand that each individual has their own journey which will ALWAYS differ from ours. But if their journey does align to ours, we have met someone who can be a true friend on this journey of life. We should stick to OUR own goals so that people can align, not the other way around. 

How can we transform our relationships?

We can transform our relationships by sharing our personal truth. The highest tribute one can pay to a genuine relationship is one's own personal truth knowing that it can completely break the relationship. If a person can understand or deal with this truth, they will connect at a different level, paving way for higher intimacy. If the person is baffled by it, they will move out of the circle, paving way for others who can deal with it. In both cases we have achieved the transparency that is elevating for both parties. We know where we stand with respect to each other, hence we give space to each other to grow. We don't block each other or pressurize each other to do something that adds resentment in the long run. Resentment defeats the entire purpose of a relationship. Why be with someone if their presence keeps us away from ourselves?

Being Nobody

Relating implies understanding something that is known through the experience of self with another. Recognizing and accepting it gives the freedom to be the other. It removes barriers and distances. It implies, you can be anyone you can relate to - in fact it implies you already are that. Can you really be in awe of or look down upon something you can relate to? No. 

Here’s hoping one can relate to many, many things - since it indicates varied experiences, rich life experiences and deep understanding of self and others. It brings empathy, compassion and love. 

Puzzle

When I finally recognized the importance of a connection, all I can say is that things fell in their place. Everything. Sometimes to view something clearly, we need to pan out - to see the whole picture - why did something happen the way it happened. It's as if a jigsaw puzzle started making sense. You see, it seems chaotic, when the puzzle pieces are handed to you one by one but once it creates some sort of pattern upon slow, painful connections - it suddenly fits and makes sense. You know it is a particular pattern. You do not have the full picture yet, but you have a sense of where this is going. That sense itself is calming because it implies there is a direction and hence a meaningful end. It's not all wasted, it's not all inexplaniable - it means something. To a seemingly directionless soul, this means a lot. 

You see, the soul is not lost - it never was. 

Like a friend told to me - "To be stuck in the Phantom zone only to realize that one was Superman" all this while! 

Basic Nature

I have always asked myself this one question to myself at crucial points in my life. 

"Will this change me? How will this change me?" If I have not liked the answer of what that change would do to me, I have not done it. 

Of course I am paraphrasing but this realization and need to not submit myself to a change that will compromise my basic core being, has always saved me from disasters. Our life/destiny or whatever one calls it is guided by our nature. Any compromise to that basic nature hurts us, diminishes our aura and makes us feel small from within. This kind of choice or decision making seems very selfish from outside but it saves a lot more disasters and impact for everyone around. More importantly it saves our soul. 

Why commit to a cause when it cannot be done with love and acceptance? Why commit to something when it is not aligned to one's nature? Why add karma and do something with half intent? Truth and transparency is what we owe to everyone in our life. The sooner we do it the better it is for everyone. 

50%

They've warned me. It will be not easy. 

But if I keep my intention clean and I do not forget what made me decide my path, it will be easy for all. 

Simple. 

I need to always check my intention and remember why I chose this more difficult path. 

Issues

Any issue that is an issue for one, is an issue in oneself.

The fact that something is bothersome implies it is not resolved in self. 

Simple to state but difficult to see especially since we all have blind spots. 

This week in March

This week has been defined by 2 names: 

1. Maye Musk

2. Robert Scoble

And just as I was searching for something else, Brian Roemmele's note: 

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back — concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1773

PS: On ClubHouse, it was Rinpoche Shyalpa. He confirmed that I am on the right track. 

Aristotle and Kinds

Happiness does not consist in pastimes and amusements but in virtuous activities - Aristotle

The amount of eye roll this statement would've gotten from me is not even worth mentioning. I just realized, I did grow up eventually and can at least fathom what Aristotle meant. Not that I am doing any of it, just barely understood what the man said. It also made me realize that reading, understanding and truly understanding something are 3 different things. And understanding something does not imply one is capable of doing it. 

Lol! the joke is on all of us. The masters have laid it thick in simple statements - the layers of which cannot be even scratched by mere mortals like us. 

Happiness

Happiness lies in the eyes which is the window to the soul. The peace, relief and calmness shows the state of a being and it can always be found in the eyes. 

Matrix

We are living in a matrix. Everything that we are experiencing is planned and it is happening just as it should. Every moment of struggle and peace is planned. It is so because just as in a perfect program, the variables and constants can take only certain values in a particular workflow. We are playing out a script, we are bound by that script and even when we know that there is a script, there is nothing more to be done than to wait for the script to play out. 

There are things happening as per design. Characters in a certain situation are behaving as per design - for my benefit. It is up to me to view this as a boon or a bane. But overall the universe is merciful - it is trying to make me better. It wants me to elevate myself to the next level. It has no other intention. Hence I try to see everything as a boon. Every problem as they say is an opportunity.  

It makes me feel safe, this planned life in this planned matrix. I mean, some where I'd be a lot more worried if this was all baseless and pointless. There is a point to this. 

I have to be the best version of me. And so does everyone else. 

Memories

As far as my memories go
You were always around and about
So comfortable in your skin
It took me years to know
that you fight the same demons as I do