I had picked up this book "Gazing at the Beloved" from SF Library's book sale. It was no coincidence. That book was needed for me. I learnt more about Tabrizi who was the muse to the poet that was Rumi.
“Don’t search for heaven and hell in the future. Both are now present. Whenever we manage to love without expectations, calculations, negotiations, we are indeed in heaven. Whenever we fight, hate, we are in hell.”
―
“Be involved in the input; be involved in the output; detach yourself from the outcome”.
Lol! This is from an official meeting. My job wants me to fix me now..
Happiness does not consist in pastimes and amusements but in virtuous activities - Aristotle
The amount of eye roll this statement would've gotten from me is not even worth mentioning. I just realized, I did grow up eventually and can at least fathom what Aristotle meant. Not that I am doing any of it, just barely understood what the man said. It also made me realize that reading, understanding and truly understanding something are 3 different things. And understanding something does not imply one is capable of doing it.
Lol! the joke is on all of us. The masters have laid it thick in simple statements - the layers of which cannot be even scratched by mere mortals like us.
This entire phase where I cannot lean on anyone has been created for the growth of me! Oh what joy.. for once I know that I have everything that I need within me. This discovery makes me so happy. It was always in me, that what I was looking for, outside of me.
My choices of people, situation arose from the fact that I did not know myself better. Hah! I was looking for everything that was always within me :-)
So I told her, " You have to like yourself"
She nodded.
I asked her, "When will you like yourself?"
She said, "When I am confidant.."
I asked her again, "When will you be confidant?"
She said, "When I actually do things and not fake it."
I wish I was around for me when I was 9...
When the time comes for you to change or grow, the Universe will make you feel so uncomfortable that you will eventually have no choice.
Love people enough to tell them the truth and respect them enough to trust that they can handle it.
Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.
You have to meet people where they are and sometimes you have to leave them there.
Everything you have done and been through is valuable and important. In order to be who you are, to know what you know, to be where you are in this moment, you needed to go through what you went through.
Happiness lies in the eyes which is the window to the soul. The peace, relief and calmness shows the state of a being and it can always be found in the eyes.
We are living in a matrix. Everything that we are experiencing is planned and it is happening just as it should. Every moment of struggle and peace is planned. It is so because just as in a perfect program, the variables and constants can take only certain values in a particular workflow. We are playing out a script, we are bound by that script and even when we know that there is a script, there is nothing more to be done than to wait for the script to play out.
There are things happening as per design. Characters in a certain situation are behaving as per design - for my benefit. It is up to me to view this as a boon or a bane. But overall the universe is merciful - it is trying to make me better. It wants me to elevate myself to the next level. It has no other intention. Hence I try to see everything as a boon. Every problem as they say is an opportunity.
It makes me feel safe, this planned life in this planned matrix. I mean, some where I'd be a lot more worried if this was all baseless and pointless. There is a point to this.
I have to be the best version of me. And so does everyone else.
Living with oneself, sitting still is an art. I realized I have some work to do on this front. I love to take the escape routes offered.
The lights are up, the diyas are out, my Diwali corner is complete! I feel bright and happy. Its a pretty day, cloudy but pretty!
We have unlimited time in the present moment. It seems dilated and slowed. I call it "unlimited" because I cannot measure this duration. It feels longish when we are fully present and seems less when we are in a rush. I do know that it results in better productivity because we seem to be having "unlimited" time to handle a particular situation - we can do a lot more and can have a lot more impact. In this present moment, there is no hurry, which is counter productive anyways.
Future = f(Present)
Future is a function of Present. It follows a curve as determined by the present. Depending on how simple or complex the present moment is, future is emerging at every given point. We are following a curve that is being generated by the value of variable "present" in real time.
The variable "present" can be "simple" and can generate precise results or it can be "complex" resulting in a range of results which are in turn impacted by the external happenings. This variable is so, so fine and so easily impacted that it is impossible to generate a curve of choice or plan the curve. But it can be manipulated and changed just by changing the input at any given time. It's just that it requires an amount of self control and calmness that is very hard to come by. Just like a science experiment being conducted in a lab, precision and steady hands are needed - just that in this case that precision and steadiness has to be in the being and his environment to produce the desired result.
Future is both a wave (general, rough, probable) and a particle (deterministic, exact, precisely predictable). This is because one can feed a specific input to the present moment and get a specific output or one can feed a variable range of inputs that go together to get a range of outputs.
Consider the two sentences below - very, very crude variables as inputs.
1. Getting chocolates as present can uplift my mood in immediate future
2. Getting chocolates as a present at a time when I am rushing out to handle an emergency may or may not uplift my mood since I may be focused on the issue at hand and may depend how that present was given to me, by whom, where and exactly when.
I will try to get better sentences / variables to explain this but for now, this was a best I could come up with. Basically it is about tangible (particle) and intangible (wave) outcomes.
It's interesting as I put the above on paper. I got up with this profound information and I thought I had to write it down before I forget. It felt as if I had understood something yet again. It even reminded me of interconnectedness of everything, theory of everything and just before waking up, it blew my mind.
Totally loving every moment that life is unfolding in front of me. It is wonderful to be alive with the realization and sensation that universe is on my side - as it is on everyone’s side. Nothing is missing. Everything is happening to create a beautiful me!
Grateful 🙏
Thankful 🙏
Blessed 🙏
Clear your calendar of meetings that don't make sense or waste your time or don't have a clear purpose: even in life.
That time is extremely precious for everything that adds to you. Spend that time on your passions and everything that brings joy.
What brings joy these days: photography, walking, mini-explorations, spending time with my favorite person/people.
"When things change inside you things change around you"
I can vouch for it. Things are more settled, calm and at peace. Two months seems like a life time ago.
